ADDRESS BY BISHOP FINN WAGLE

The Nidaros Cathedral Choir sings "Amen" from "Lo, the Full, Finald Sacrifice" from 1946 by Gerald Finzi (1901-1956).

"We do not live to ourselves ..."

Dear Märtha and Ari,

Like pilgrims, you are stopping for a final pause before you take the final steps up to the altar. When your destination is in sight, the time has come, not to get there as quickly as possible, but to concentrate on the experience of arriving and dwell upon what is happening. There are thoughts you would like to think, arising from this place where you have sat down... There are feelings you want to savour today, as you celebrate this feast of love... Joy and thankfulness over being so near to the place where the love that unites you will be solemnly affirmed...

It all began when you found each other and were found by each other. In the joyful conviction that you love each other and want to share your lives with each other, you have defied all the doubt with which our age regards every lasting relationship between two people. This is what love is about, love that in its very nature is eternal. In a relationship based on equality, you have conquered a kingdom where you can create a future together. And you have done this in such a moving way: Two young people with an unusual gift for putting their feelings for each other into words, and for being together with overflowing love, with devotion and respect. Two young people who meet life around them with love in their eyes. You make the world a more beautiful place!

And now you are sitting here - side by side - on what we can call a "loveseat". I greet you with some words about living together, fundamental enough to encompass this feast of love. Paul writes this in one of his letters: We do not live to ourselves... (Romans 14:7) Who can understand and rejoice over the profundity of these words better than you two who love each other? We do not live to ourselves... Thank you, dear God, that this is really true!

The place where you are sitting makes a wider context clear. It is as though you are saying: This day is not just about ourselves, but about ourselves and the relationships that we are woven into. On our way to the altar it's important for us to sit right here, near to you who are such important threads in the tapestry of our lives: mother and father, sister and brother, family, relations and friends... We will sit here for some precious minutes and feel thankfulness for life itself; because we do not live to ourselves...

The words of the Bible also enable us to see the changes that are now taking place in your lives in new perspectives. The next time you sit beside each other it will be as man and wife, with all the delight and all the anticipation that that involves... But for the two of you it is also a matter of other changes and other roles, since your lives are so closely bound up with the public sphere. To live in this sphere can be both rewarding and challenging, but also pitiless and lonely. It's as though these words about living together address you in a new and different way: We do not live to ourselves...

For you, Märtha, it's a matter of redefining your role as princess. You are entering a professional life which is not based on your royal dignity. You have chosen a life as a conveyor of culture and values, with a basis in our rich treasure of folk stories. Both children and grown ups are following your career with great expectations! Folk tales are a wonderful source for understanding life and giving us courage and hope. What would Askeladen - "The Ash Lad", hero of so many Norwegian folk tales - have been without his helpers, his sensitivity for nature and the people he met, his capacity for wonder and his basic trust in life? These are all qualities that you yourself radiate so strongly. Or, to say it with these fundamental words: We do not live to ourselves...

You too, Ari, are the conveyor of culture and values. You want to reach out to the world through the written and the spoken word. You are achieving this with great powers of expression, sensitivity, honesty and courage. As you understand your role, these fundamental words can be read as a sounding board: We do not live to ourselves... Today, you are winning the whole nation's princess. In the world of folk stories, half the kingdom would have been yours as well. In the real world you are being endowed with the attention of the whole kingdom! What a starting point for you whose basic concern is to communicate a zest for living!

Dear Märtha and Ari: All life is life together. Our time on earth is not a private matter. We are one another's gift and duty. What would we have been without love? What would we have been without the relationships that we are woven into - relationships to one another and to the whole of creation? What would we have been without the presence of God in our lives - as the depths of grace, as boundless love, as the call to commitment? What would we have been, if the love of God was not "like the seashore and the grass" - the love that embraces us and sets us free to live our lives together? What would we have been, if the life of Jesus hadn't given all our life together its direction and goal? What would we have been? We do not live to ourselves... We have every reason to sing praises at this feast of love!

"We do not live to ourselves and we do not die to ourselves. If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's." (Romans 14: 7-8, New Revised Standard Version) When we hear these words in their context, they not only lead you up to the altar, but much further. It becomes clear that the solemnisation of your marriage at the altar of the Lord today is just one destination on your journey. Pilgrims understand this. When they reach their destination, their journey begins - the journey onward.

With this perspective, it's not so appropriate to speak of marriage as a haven. Marriage is to travel together - supporting and challenging each other as you go - in gentle terrain and rugged terrain. It's a journey you should regard from the perspective of growth and maturing. Today you are beginning your journey onwards, along the road of love, the road of matrimony, the road of maturing. With love's "yes" to each other, and the blessing of God, you are well equipped for the journey!

For this journey onwards you have written your own prayer. I want to pray this prayer with you now, as the last thing that happens while you are still sitting on the "loveseat":

Lord, let us live in faith and trust,
let us feel that our lives unfold
in the way that you reveal to us,
with eternity in each day that passes.
Let us act out of love,
the seed of life,
the seed that is holy.
Lord,
let us live in faith and trust.

Dear Märtha and Ari: The time has come to complete your arrival and take the final steps up to the altar of the Lord - in faith and trust! Because we do not live to ourselves!